Life is helping me out but I’m in a state of not giving a damn

don't give a damn

It’s not that I haven’t had much to do in life. The past couple of months of my life have been very happening indeed, thank you very much.

Here are some highlights:

  • I got a new job

  • I got duped by a person I thought was a friend when I was already at a low point in life. And that person knew it, in case you were wondering. #SedLyf

  • My best friend got married! 😀 Oh, and a cousin too.

Yet, I cannot shake off this feeling of extreme disinterest. It is quite hard to explain actually because it’s not like I have been completely devoid of feeling. I’ve experienced a range of emotions induced by the events mentioned but at the same time, I continue to feel like I’m no more than a spectator.

All of a sudden. when things seem to be falling into place, I feel like I have no purpose. I have lost my enthusiasm.

A couple of months back, I had several goals; I compiled ideas for my blog, planned trips because God knows I need to travel and try to relax, promised myself to make new friends, be more social, lose weight…

Guess how much of that I have accomplished? The last blog post I wrote was in June. The last time I traveled was in May. The last time I talked to a new person was when I started working here merely because I had no other choice. Don’t even ask the last time I tried losing weight because I don’t remember.

Now I have a chance to do all that. And all I do is make excuses to myself. Actually, scratch that. I don’t even bother to do that. I just sit laze around, watching everything pass by me, without ever trying to grab an opportunity.

Everyone around me is working hard and getting ahead. And here I am, just sitting around, mastering the art of not giving a fuck.

I realise this is a useless piece, but this is all I could come up with after spending days, forcing myself to write instead of waiting for some divine inspiration that I know is not coming any time soon.

 

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don't give a damn