6 rules of communication you should start following

 

Communicating with people is not exactly my forte. Naturally, there are a lot of awkward moments where I don’t know how to start a conversation, carry it forward or just put an end to it. Recently, however, I’ve been setting some rules for myself. Here are six rules everyone should follow when stuck in awkward situations.

Stop saying sorry for everything

‘I’m sorry I got caught in traffic.’

‘I’m sorry I am sick.’

‘I’m sorry my battery died.’

None of the above is exactly your fault, so why apologise? Save it for when it really matters, when you actually did something wrong. Saying sorry for everything makes the word lose its meaning and significance. It becomes more of an expression than an apology.

Learn to say NO

This has been said by so many people so many times but it doesn’t seem to be enough. If someone wants you to do something for them and you are not in a position to help them out, just refuse instead of making excuses or grudgingly agreeing. Unless, of course it’s someone who would put everything on hold for you. Then say yes.

Stick to your decisions

Like Salman Khan sticks to his commitment. I come across many people who are dillydallying between decisions. Even once they take one, they keep trying to justify their reasons for it. I honestly don’t understand why. If you think your decision will offend people and you feel sorry about that, you either shouldn’t have taken it in the first place or should have been prepared to face the brunt. And, if you realise your stance is wrong, admit it.

Don’t hold back appreciation

When you see someone working hard, doing something worthwhile and excelling at it, applaud their efforts. Often this is the only way you can show your support and it means a lot to the person who is already under a lot of pressure.

Be polite but don’t be Roohafza

Being polite is good, going overboard with it is not. Too much sweetness can be nauseous. People who are extra nice just come across as phony and insincere.

Stop beating around the bush

Let me tell you a story here. So I had, or if you insist on calling someone on your Facebook friend list your ‘friend’, have a friend who I hadn’t talked to in sometime. There was no fight or anything, we just drifted apart, got busy with our lives. One day she messaged me and told me off for around five minutes for being mean and never bothering to contact (was not to to be petty or anything but it pretty rich coming from her because she didn’t even invite me to her wedding).

Anyway she managed to make me feel bad and I apologised. Next thing she says is to give her brother some career counselling. And once I did, she had nothing to talk about anymore. The reason it pissed me off was she could have asked me that straight away instead of dragging me on a guilt trip.

Moral: if you want a favour from someone who you haven’t been in touch with for a while, kindly just tell them you need help without trying to act as if you care about their lives. The attempts are transparent and annoying. You can’t stay in touch with everyone but you might occasionally need their help and it’s ok to ask for it.

Do you have any tips to help people communicate better? Do share them in the comments. Or you can even write a compilation of the ways you interact with people as a guest blogger for my site. Click on the button below for details.

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Farwa

Hi there! Welcome to this jumbled up world of words which I like to call my creative space and where I'd like to pull you in. I'm a journalist by profession and I love to write. I also like to read which would explain my Masters in Eng Lit. Anyway, welcome aboard! Feel free to roam around.

12 Comments:

  1. Words to live by…in my case I know I need to stop saying I’m sorry so much, and showing more appreciation never hurts.

  2. Love this! I agree about cutting out that fake stuff. Whenever someone asks me for something, but wants to talk about my life for like an hour before, it feels so insincere. And sticking to commitments is super important, too! Great tips

  3. The Easy A gif is daily in my life, I do need to get better at NOT beating around the bush. It only bites you in the butt in the end.

  4. Great post, will continue doing this 🙂

  5. One of my bigger st pet peeves is when people are not direct, getting straight to the point makes you seem more confident.

  6. I am so horrible, I say sorry for everything, even if it is not my fault, its a bad habit that needs to be broken. thank you so much for posting this!

  7. Hey Farwa,
    Just came across your blog for the first time and liking it already 😀
    My favorite part about this post: “Don’t be Rooh Afza!” <— TOO FUNNY! I had to stop for a moment because I was laughing enough to not be able to read further! Hahaha!
    Great post – all of these things are what I'm gradually working on and it's been going well for me!
    Hope you'll get in touch! I'll definitely be bookmarking your blog 🙂
    ~ Saraallie
    http://www.saraallie.blogspot.com

    • Hey Sara, thank you so much! 🙂 great to see you here.
      Lol, it’s true though some people really remind of roohafza or jam-e-shireen, which ever is sweeter 😉

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